Mattchooo’s birthday todai(:<3 hehe its been a pretty good day(: going to watch his show at like 5 I think(:
IDK why I’ve been acting up lately. I feeling like I’m falling apart. I’m sorry I’m not telling you any this and you have to find out from here. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I have too many things with my mind. I want to escape. I want to run away. I need to get away. I just want to leave. Gah I don’t know. I feel like i don’t belong here. I want to start new. There’s so much going in my mind, I feel like I’m going insane. I got to start reading the Bible. I feel so lost without God. I need to get back into that circle. Gah, I’m falling apart…..I need to start new. I want to leave. I miss the way things used to be. I miss you grandma……I can’t believe you’re gone…..I’m so lost…..God help me. I can’t think straight. I want to run…..ahhh….. I don’t understand how you go through feeling like this. I need to get away.
So I rather just post it on here than tell people personally or shiet. Well I went to the chiropractor as I do every Monday, Wednesday, or Friday and the chiropractor asked how I was doing. I told him I’ve been having headache because I get it everyday. SOOOO he continued on telling me that it isn’t normal and that the hospital I went to was a fail because they didn’t care to give me a CAT scan and that I may still have a concussion. So please pray for me, cause seriously these headaches are killing hte shiet out of me.
After you told me, I’ve let my mind wander. When you don’t reply back, I’m worried that you’re out there doing it again….I don’t even know anymore. I know I should trust your word, but with that stuff, I KNOW it’s addicting. Gah, IDK…
To be truthful, I’m really disappointed in you. I don’t know what to say at all. I just wanted to walk out on you. I wanted to slap you and call you retarded. I don’t even know. I just hope you don’t do it again.